SIGNS OF BEING ABUSED 1.You feel afraid of your partner. 2.You feel distant from friends and family, in part because he makes those relationships difficult. 3.You don’t have the energy or motivation you used to, you feel depressed. 4.Your opinion of yourself is often negative, you don’t feel good enough, or you feel you have to prove yourself around him. You are apologizing all the time for anything and everything. 5.You find yourself preoccupied with your relationship and trying to figure out what would fix it. 6.You feel like the problems in your relationship are your fault or reflect some shortcoming of yours. 7.You walk away from arguments feeling like your words got twisted around but you can’t put your finger on what or how it happened. STAYING SAFE: Safety During An Explosive Incident • If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area where you have access to an exit. Try to stay away from the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom or anywhere else where weapons might be available. • Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairwell would be best. • Have a packed bag ready and keep it at a relatives or friends home in order to leave quickly. • Identify one or more neighbors you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home. • Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends and neighbors when you need help. • Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to). • Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, do whatever you think you need to do to stay safe. • Always remember-YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED! Safety When Preparing To Leave • Open a savings account and/or credit card in your own name to start to establish your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence. • Get your own post office box. You can privately receive checks and letters to begin your independence.(Hope House provides PO Boxes to residents staying at the shelter) • Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, extra medicines and clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly. • Determine who might be able to loan you some money. • Keep the shelter and hotline phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls. REMEMBER LEAVING YOUR BATTERER IS THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME. Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer. Safety In Your Own Home • Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows. • Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them. • Inform neighbors and your landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home. Safety With A Protective Order • Keep your protective order on you at all times. When you change your purse, that should be the first thing that goes in it. Give a copy to a trusted friend, neighbor or family member. • Call the police if your partner breaks the protective order. • Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away. • Inform family, friends, neighbors and your physician or Health Care provider that you have a protective order in effect. |
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| For immediate assistance call our 24 hour crisis line 303-280-3180 |
Arising Hope 2012
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